The Angel in Us

Everytime you see, you unsee. Its a quest into a black hole. Each new revelation dawns upon you a new realization, which ironically only deepens the fact that our existence as an individual is of little relevance. Life is a cosmic cycle of which we are a part. Seperation from this Universal entirety questions the stability of our existence. It is impossible to stay as an individual soul, as the soul is but an infintesimally microrepresentation of the whole. This is why new knowledge dawns upon us the realization that only our boundaries have been expanded as a result.

The real truth is incomprehensible by our mind and senses and can be known only by the soul. People are unable to comprehend this truth through the mind and deny it as non-existential sometimes going to the extent of proving themselves right using the very barriers that veil them from the truth.

Sorrow and grief follow as repercussions to tainiting the purity of the Self through individuality. These repercussions can only be felt if we abide in the confines of our mind. But even a spark of the Infinite Consciousness can bring about a radical change leading to the resurrection of the fallen Angel in us.

This calls for steadiness in thought, action and feeling. Through a continuous stream of contemplation upon anything we can achieve focus. If the focus is on material things the barriers of the mind dig deeper. On the other hand if the focus is on the Divine, Omnipotent Self, limitlessness can be achieved for we have transcended into a higher level of consciousness.

Our mind must be our servant. The knowledge of breathing is an ideal beginning to silencing the constant chatter of the mind. ‘Breath’ is the rhythm of life. Perfecting the breath in turn tames our mind and opens the doors to the Divine of whom we are a part, his light illuminating his own Self in us as we become the Angel in us.

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Its okay. We dont have to be together. But I still love you, so much! I just want to live in this feeling I have for you, it doesnt matter if you are with someone else, because, this feeling I have for you is beyond that.

Sometimes, I feel your love. It feels so warm. Makes me want to be with you forever. And I think yes. I am with you now. Its so magical.

I am yours. It is the truth. I tried. To move on. But, eventually I realize, everytime, that I am yours. Maybe this is also a kind of moving on. You can be, be with, do whatever you want, its okay, and this feeling I have for you is forever. And forever I will embrace you, it has become an instinct. 

I believe in me. And I know me. I know that what I feel is the truth. And I know that you love me inside. It is true. This knowing is enough for me. Everything else is upto you. I love you. I can never say enough of that. And you are free. And thankyou for now and later on for your invisible presence which is a light in my life. Yours forever, my other!

Someday..

Someday, you will come to me. I will accept you with all my heart. I will teach you everything I learned in this time without you, with you always in my heart. Now, I know a lot about you than when I was with you. You will be by my side and I will be by your side every second. Time will be priceless. Nothing will be as valuable as each other for the both of us. It is a divine experience. Even when you are so far away I feel like you are by my side. I will get rid of your glasses. You will be the most happiest and satisfied when you are with me and me with you. I will be reason for your life and you will be mine. Every cell of mine will be yours and I want you to be mine too. And when you rest your head upon my shoulder I will show you yourself like a mirror reflecting the sun and moon, day and night and everything in between. I will protect you with invincibility and subtlety and heal you into purity and freedom by giving you the medicine of knowledge I recieve from God. And then when there won’t be words to express your thoughts and my feelings, we will find our own selves in each other. Now when my heart is hurt your presence heals me. The scent of your beautiful hair calms me. Your smile makes me smile the widest I have ever. Your eyes, your beautiful expressive eyes like the dew on morning grass excites me, inspires me to find you, to be with you forever. Now, all these days that you have been away, I have risen to great heights of realization, thus will always keep your thoughts stimulated with the new and newer, until you realize the truth. When we melt into each other there will be an explosion of infinite love radiating throughout the Universe in ripples. I love you, beyond the limits my mind can concieve, beyond the limits of my soul, thus seeing beyond this illusion I believed was reality. So will you. 

Someday, we will be one being.

The ‘Beyond’ Portal

Weathered by the extremes, I am now waiting happily for the ultimate end. Okay wait, What? It all started some days ago when I was down with a high fever, bedridden. And I asked myself this question.

Am I ready to die?

No, I was not. Doesn’t being perfect mean embracing the end, the ultimate end. Is there anything in this world that is beyond death? Yes, maybe the soul! If you think about it death is the ultimate realization in this world, right? Maybe if that is realized there would higher levels of realization beyond. Maybe death is a passage to the more advanced levels of transgression of the soul.

All of it I channelled into focused thought to understand the mysterious nature of death. To start with I contemplated upon my first encounter with death. It happened when I was 3 years old, when the seed coat of a peanut I was fumbling with entered my nostrils to get lodged in my lungs causing me to choke and gasp for life. My mother recalls the horror when I almost left her. But, I was not ready. So, the doctor managed to get the small piece out of my tract.

Then, again and again death came to me. Once in a cycle crash, thrice drowning me, once as an attempt on my own life. Everytime death comes, my breath leaves me (So, maybe breath is life). Most times death calls me lovingly with wide open arms full of warmth like when I sit on a bridge watching the water flow beneath me almost hypnotizingly weakening my body and causing me to topple over and drown in it. But, everytime I was afraid. I was afraid of death. Because I was not ready.

‘Life is a preparation for death.’
-Buddha

So, I began preparing. And it was easy because I was always preparing, unknowingly. I was weathered and softened like an eroded bedrock by the riffle of life. I reconciled quickly, conquered even the most turbid of hearts, calming everything with my receptiveness and love. But, there was a big hurdle. My ego. I thought very highly of myself. So, to flip things around, I created a new intention.

I am ordinary.

It changed me in just the first time I ever contemplated upon it. I became ordinary. Everything suddenly blossomed around me, everybody around me started to love me, I started to be free. I started to live finally. That was when I felt that I was ready to die. Because I was no longer afraid. And strangely enough I feel more alive than ever.

Celestial Link

Passing days serving intention,
Hoping to notice exaltation.

Fortuitously espy an angel lucidity,
Who matches in contrariety.

Daring me in every proceeding,
As my rebuttal questions her including.

All of it spirals on eternally,
As the passage of time feels hallucinatory.

Mere presence concocting sight,
Spectators sense manifestation adept.

Perceptibly sprouts an affinity,
Solidifying mystically albeit rivalry.

To You, I Come

What is life, without knowing the Infinite. It is like an ocean with no waves, like a desert with no wind, like a world with no life. But, Oh, Infinite Self, why do you cavort hide and seek with my Self. Stop this torment, relieve my misery, I seek you now, truly with all I have. For whencesoever you come into me I feel complete like an ocean with waves, small and big, like a desert with life, like a world lit by your wizardry. Let me be at your mercy.